They call me Ishmael.

Ok, so my name really isn’t Ishmael, its Nadine Bodine…but I just thought I would say that to get your attention and to sound literate and smart and all that.

Actually, my full name is Nadine Cleta Layuna… Bodine.  The Cleta Layuna part comes from my g-maw’s sisters, two of the sweetest great Aunts a girl could EVER have.  Aunts?  Now it all depends on where you are from as to how you say it.  In the South, for some squirrely reason, if you are white (pronounced wiiii-te), Aunt is pronounced like the little pic-nic bugs…you know, common spelling, “ant.”  While the Yankees and all of the rest of the southerners pronounce it properly, sounds like “Ahhh-nt; ” and, is properly spelled,”Aunt.” … But I digress. To the Queens list!!! Hurry! This drum roll is taking too long!

NADINE’S HAPPY FAMILY TRAILER PARK QUEENS

Nadine Bodine-A Self-Proclaimed Renaissance Trailer Park Queen…it came to me in a dream.

Jose’-My husband …his favorite wife gave him that name.

 

Nadine and Jose’s gbabies-Listed by order of birth

Skeeter-the first born, known to many as “the baby Skeeter”…almost like “the baby Jesus,” but not in a sacrilegious kind of way. Note… I underlined “almost.”

Nacho-…the second born and middle child, forever. God Bless his heart!

Sha-nay-nay– …the baby girl we waited so long for just so we could buy pink, ruffles, tutus, bows and all things girlie!

In Alphabetical Order…I give you…The Self-Proclaimed Trailer Park Queens:

Caffeine-An AXO sister and former college roomie… drinks a lot of coffee and currently lives in a Million Dollar Trailer Park in Austin, Texas

Chastine-A nursey friend…also a Leprechaun, noted for saving a woman from an attacker, recently!…literally saved her Chastity!

Chlorine-My FAVORITE cousin…has the cleanest trailer in the whole park, probably the whole world! We go waaaaaaaay back cruising Pals Hamburgers, smoking candy cigarettes and sneaking in to the drive-in picture show. She used to even share her boyfriends with me…I was 5, she was 17.

Cletaine-My aunt…Maydine’s baby sister and one of 3 of the “hoot sisters”…she thinks she can heal people when she puts her hands on them…I’m not one to doubt it.

Cuisine-My aunt…cause she cooks better than a hairy-legged biker at a chili cook-off! Loonier than a toon and sweet as pie!

Curline-My neighbor…A Spiritual Warrior in the Trailer Park, mother of four perfect children and married to Dennis the Menace

Dramamine-My daughter…my own personal ‘Mini Me’, drama mama…need I say anymore?

Geraldine-A nursey friend…Our only Ebony Queen and also a Leprechaun

Glowdine- A cousin…Because she simply glows, married to one of my favorite biker cousins, she is a force to be reckoned with! Just ask her!

Godine-A nursey friend…A Leprechaun, always on the go!

Jeweline –A nursey friend…A precious Jewel of a Queen and also a Leprechaun

Joline-My neighbor… Official Happy Family Trailer Park wine connoisseur, Angel of Mercy and home to all strays (animal and human alike) and married to Walter (don’t ask)

Kerosene-my baby sister…Volatile with a flash point between 100-150 degrees, she can go from total sweetheart to total psycho beeyach in under 30 seconds…a real Fire Cracker that sings like an Angel

Layunine-my 91 year old Aunt…her full name is Julia Cladis Layuna Small Thomas Londagin, but the kids call her MomJu…one of 3 of the “hoot sisters”

Maybelline-My BFF from the 8th grade…currently shares the same Million Dollar Trailer Park Zip Code as the Bass Brothers (not kidding)

Maydine-my Mam-maw …my 95 year old, Matriarch and Spiritual Warrior of the entire clan and Ring Leader of the “hoot sisters”

Mawdine-My Mother …my favorite Momma, full-time Mother and Grandmother, parti-time Father and the first person I ever loved. I fell in love with her the first time I saw her!

Modine-A dear friend and LHS Queen…we go waaaaaaaaaay back to an earlier Trailer Park, one of the only times I was a bridesmaid instead of the bride at a wedding

Moline-A nursey friend…a beautiful spirit, a friend to all creatures and also a Leprechaun

(Opaline-Mam-maw Opal… g-maw deceased, God Bless her soul!, occasionally she stops by and we virtual chat)

Praylene-My dear friend and partner in many unsolved crimes…her Momma was a Georgia Peach and the name was fitting to honor her

Squirrelline-A nursey friend…a recent Queen addition, D.A.D.S. survivor, should

probably be more of a Saint than a Queen

Thriftine-My cousin…the Trailer Park Robin Hood…she dives, fearlessly and with great glamour and ease, to take from the dumpster and up-cycle to the poor! She has a very kind and giving heart… and about 1,000 cats

 

Presently On double top secret purgatory probation

Ethylene-a nursey friend…ethyl (as in alcohol), a Leprechaun

 

No longer live in the Trailer Park…needs no explanation.

Frenchine-…a Leprechaun

Fayline-…former BFF, get the net!

 You can be a “little” crazy, or you can be a “little” mean, sometimes (but not to each other!!!), but you can’t be Crazy AND Mean, or we’ll ask you to leave.

Now you know.

Respectfully published by Nadine Bodine…your very best friend in the whole wide world!