The following is an account of text messages over a few years between my dear departed Daddy and myself. True to my alter Trailer Park self, I am a packrat and don’t throw away ANYTHING! Including text messages that might someday be useful. Below, please find a loving tribute to my father and his Amazing imagination and sense of humor.
Daddy-Have you met my new Go-Go’s?
Daddy- Their names are Ebony and Caldonia? They are African Americans.
Me- Daddy, we’re all Americans. That term is no longer P.C. Ok, they’re black. Shock factor over. Where did ya’ll meet?
Daddy-Are you kidding me?
Me- Why would I kid about something like that?
Daddy-Because you’re a kid! So, we met at the meeting place. (Which was Daddy, for drop it.)
Me- Ok. Fine. Daddy.
A few days later, now I get that he has an agenda….
Daddy- I have two new Go-Go’s.
Me- Alert the media.
Daddy – Their names are Okey and Dokey. They are from Mexico. They are Mexican Nationals. I picked them up at high tide. Surf's Up. Gotta go!
Even later still, while he was on a self-induced time out ride to New Mexico…
Daddy- Hey Kid! Got a couple more Go-Go’s!
Me- Ok, now what? Where are you anyway?
Daddy- I’m in Taos, just left the reservation. Picked up Nava-ho and Arapa-ho!
Me-Bahahahahaha…I’m telling Mam-maw.
Daddy- You’d better not! I’ve got stuff on you too, and I know where you live.
Me- Be careful out there….all those “ho’s” might roll you for you wallet.
And then, just a week later…
Daddy- Got me two more!
Daddy-Was over at the Chen-Chen Mandarin Buffet and Chinese Laundry when two girls, Yin and Yang, walked up to me and asked if they could be my Go-Go’s!
Me-Turn up your hearing aide, Garry, What they really said was, “Do you want us to call the Po-Po?!” You crazy old biker.
Daddy-No, really. They’ve heard about my reputation.
Me-Everyone has heard about your reputation, Daddy. That’s why you’re still single. That many women can’t possibly be wrong.
Daddy-That was hurtful, and unnecessary. But true. Touche’.
Me-Well, don’t expect me to call ANY of them Mama!
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any crazier…
Daddy – Well, now the circle is complete. I’ve got me a couple more.
Me- If you mean a couple more Go-Go’s, I’m gonna say, “NO!” cause your trailer park has set a limit to the number of Go-Go’s you can have on the premises. Didn’t you read the Home Owner’s Agreement?
Daddy- Not a problem. I’ve just opened up the International House of Go-Go’s for Wayward Go-Go’s, Ho-Ho’s and Ding-Dongs.
Me- Great! At least I know you’ll be in good company during your retirement years. Who you gonna get to fund this “adventure?”
Daddy-Well old Biker’s like me! You know you can always pass the hat at a rally and collect enough to save any lost soul. We’re always good to give to the Underdog.
Me- True dat. So What’s their names?
Daddy-A couple of Southern Belles this time, Trixie and Dixie. The South’s gonna rise again!
Me-Yeah, well, Not unless it’s the ‘second coming’…you get my drift?!
And finally…Let the games continue…
Daddy-You know it’s almost football season, right?
Me-Is the Pope Catholic, Daddy? And you call yourself my father. Who ARE you? You know I live and breathe high-school, college and professional football all weekend long.
Daddy-I was just over at Central Market…the place looks like someone threw up purple pepto-bismol.
Daddy-Found me a couple of Sorority cuties, named Coco and Chanel. TCU hotties. They are in law school and wanna change the world, but right now they dance to pay the tuition bills.
Me-Dad! T.C.U. doesn’t have a law program, it’s a liberal arts college. Don’t you think they’re a little “young” for your entourage anyway? And T.C.U.? Really, Daddy? Are you trying to Kill me?
Daddy-Oh don’t worry about it…I’m headed down to Austin next. Gonna get a couple of Longhorn gals and then on to College Station for some Aggies! A separate group of Go-Go’s just in time for Friday Night Lights.
Me- You are out of control. I’m calling the 90-year-old!
R.I.P. Daddy. We miss you! <3<3<3+
Your favorite child (and very best friend in the whole wide world),