“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” ~ Maya Angelou
Here’s the conversation…you know it from heart…it goes something like this here:
(Disclaimer…the names were changed to protect…somebody? And this conversation knows no gender…these roles can be easily reversed!)
Damaged Woman-“I am so mad at ‘That Man!’ He keeps going out, getting… drunk/high/stoned, spending half his paycheck on (insert your favorite vice here), staying gone, spiritually/emotionally/physically tormenting the kids and spiritually/emotionally/physically tormenting me! He is just treating me horribly!”
Best Friend-“I know. He’s such a dog. You should leave his sorry a$$ in the dirt!”
Damaged Woman-“And you know what else he did…HE wrecked MY car, cleaned out MY bank account and bought (insert your favorite sporting/ hunting/automotive/electronic item here)!”
Best Friend-“That is terrible! You are such a sweet, pretty, honest, hard-working, fun-loving, special, nice, loyal, AWESOME woman and friend. He shouldn’t be treating you that way!”…
Done!
The damaged woman complaining has just got the validation she most needed…wanted!!!…only, she got it from the wrong person. What she should be doing is making a plan to get out of a damaging relationship…but not what she does.
Women chronically seek out other women when they aren’t getting what they need from a relationship gone badly and rant. And these other women, their so called BFF’s tell them exactly what they only “wish” they could hear from “That Man”. Only to go back to “That Man” who is causing them all of this pain and perpetuate the cycle again.
Here we go…If you’re lucky enough to have a washer machine in your trailer, then…Lather, rinse, repeat.
We all know this conversation can and has gone on…and on…ad-nauseam.
Sometimes you’re the windshield, in this diatribe, and sometimes…you’re the bug.
Either way, it’s a vicious cycle of “He said”/ “She said.” And nobody gets anywhere; just dizzier than a rodeo cowboy who was just bucked off of “Bam-Bam” at the last Fort Worth Fat Stock Show. (Some might argue “The Grinch”)
I call this cycle and soon to be Best Seller…“As the Trailer Park Twirls.”
And it will continue to twirl until somebody pulls the plug.
All adult people need to know how to recognize “When it’s time to get off the ‘Twirling Trailer’…as it were.” (To be blogged at a later date and time)
But, I suppose, until they are willing to pull the plug, we, as girlfriends, need to “Keep Holding Our Sister’s Up Even When they can’t hold up themselves.”
But trust me….that can get old quick!
Sincerely submitted by your very best friend in the whole entire world
Nadine Bodine
Aka/Malika Nadine of the Happy Family Danat Desert Resort Trailer Park
What truth this is… And poor Cuisine, and others had to bear me up for all those years. Hope this is read and absorbed, and they realize there is a way to climb done off that twirling storm where they have trapped themselves. We have to take hold of our own destiny, holding God by the hand, and be the best we can be. Thank you, Nadine, again for all your wisdom and insight. Love you to the moon and back, Mawdine.
Thanks for not mentioning names!
May we all learn from your wisdom!
Keep up the good work!