Posted almost one year ago…it’s time for a reprise. Time OUT!!!!
As the Self-Appointed Life Coach to Many, I am frequently called to speak out on certain issues that can and do affect us all.
Today, the topic is Adult Time Outs.
First of all, if you’re living in the Happy Family Trailer Park (HFTP) and you don’t know what an Adult Time Out is, allow me to explain. An Adult Time Out is when you have used up ALL of your Jesus and Sunshine and you have no more to give…to anyone.
Not even the dog.
And since dogs are family in the Trailer Park, this is saying a lot!
What leads one to the Adult Time Out, one might ask? It can be one thing or it can be many things all rolled into one. I will say it is NOT just for the ‘married with children’ types. Rather, it IS for those who deal with the daily busyness of life, those Overanalyticalness types, newly married, old married, married with children or even the married with empty nest. So, just to be sure I cover all the bases, anybody and everybody needs an Adult Time Out. Usually once a week. In some cases, once a day.
Knowing What an Adult Time Out is, isn’t enough.
Knowing that everybody needs an Adult Time Out isn’t either.
The proof is in the pudding to know how to recognize when you or your mate needs an Adult Time Out. And to provide that time.
For example, a recent newlyweded friend of mine has advised they are just having trouble adjusting to the ebb and flow of married life. Of course, my knee jerk reaction was…Ha! Just wait till you’ve been married six “wonderful” years (sing it like the church lady people).
Of course, there are others with more years than Jose’ and I, I do realize, but since Jose’ and I are still on the ‘Proverbial Honeymoon’ (blog to follow) this still applies to us.
I counsel a lot of Newlyweds here of late…seems everybody and their cousin, son or masseuse just got married! It’s a HFTP epidemic. Newlyweds must learn to schedule Adult Time Outs as a regular part of their married routine. Why? Because, in my humble opinion, that first year is the most difficult!
Of course, it is also the most fun!
But the adjusting to how you now do things as a couple, like whether to watch football, NASCAR or DIY, OR whether or not to BBQ every.single.stinkin.solitary. Saturday night that includes his entire.loud.crazy.family. can take some adjustments.
Especially if you are hollerin’ for Dale Earnhardt Jr. and your spouse is rooting for Kurt Busch. There’s work to be done there people. Hard Work. Somebody’s gotta pick a side.
And Adult Time Outs are even more important for those Mommas of small ones, medium sized ones and sometimes even the large ones. Mommas need time away from the trailer to be with other Trailer Park Mommas.
Sans the children.
That is French for… “WITHOUT!”
Even if it’s a Ladies In Fellowship Together (L.I.F.T.) group. Heads up to those husbands out there. You need to help your wife schedule a once a week? something, without your precious darling children holding on to her apron. Make it happen. She will be a better person for it. And like we always say in the HFTP…”If the Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Learn it. Chant it as your mantra. And most importantly…Believe it.
And while we’re on it…Don’t forget those Single Mommas who are doing it all by themselves. Men! Teenagers! Step up to the plate here. It’s called Volunteering. We do it frequently in the HFTP.
Kudos to those men and teens who are already walking the walk!
And for those Old Time Married peoples. Same is true. They need to make time each day, even for just a few minutes, to get away from the daily bump and grind. Those outside interests that you bring back to the inside of the Trailer Park can be stimulating to your relationship with your sweet Bab-Boo.
I’ve been learning this the hard way. Since our relocate here in the Happy Family Danat Resort Trailer Park in the Sandbox, I’ve had to learn when Jose’ wants to be alone, still and quiet. And trust me, it’s hard. With no one to talk to during the day but myself, I WANT someone to interact with me! I want my playmate to come outside and play with ME! But, I have to allow him his Adult Time Out so that he can be a better person with me.
I’m in Adult Time Out all day and I’m ‘fabulous’! (sing it like the church lady)
On the flip side… IF the Adult Time Out involves behaviors that are contradictory to the marriage/relationship, then perhaps those should be re-thought. I’m talking specifically about fishin’ down at the local watering hole for 4-5 hours and watching Go-Go’s’ dance. That is NOT the kind of Adult Time Out we’re talking about!
Not that we’re judging the Go-Go’s…it’s just not that kind of time out.
Examples of positive Adult Time Outs could be any or up to and including all of the following: shooting shot guns at the range (or if it’s safe, off the back porch of the trailer), mindless shopping at the Dollar Store or my personal favorite, Big Lots, playing a 9 hole round of golf (yes, HFTP people play golf), hitting balls at the batting cages for an hour, sitting and playing a video game for half an hour, tinkering with the car, a lunch with the girls, banging the drums for an hour, a Bible Study group (men’s or ladies), or a nice long relaxing soak in the tub with your Muscat d ‘Asti and a tube of Pringles or perhaps just the daily constitutional without interruption.
Ever wonder why your spouse heads to the bathroom straight in from work…for half an hour? Or why they put on their running shoes and head for the door? That’s a wakeup call that he/she needs time…alone…without you…to switch gears. Don’t get your panties in a wad or your feelins hurt about it. Embrace the Adult Time Out. Find your own outlet.
In conclusion and in praise of the Adult Time Out; it can be most positive. We all need one to recharge our batteries. To get back the old Jesus and Sunshine in our step. To be ‘fabulous’ people. (Ah ha! caught you singing it again like the church lady)
What is your Adult Time Out? Inquiring minds would love to know. Feel free to post a comment below.
Respectfully submitted by your very best friend in the whole entire world,
Aka/Malika Nadine of the Happy Family Danat Resort Trailer Park in the Sandbox