Takotsubo = “tako-tsubo” is a medical condition.

The origin is Japanese.

Takotsubo, sometimes called Cardiomyopathy. The clinical manifestation of a spiritual loss. A reversible condition triggered by profound psychological loss or stress. Sometimes called broken heart syndrome.

My heart is broken.

96 years! Ninety! Six! Years! Young.

For the past several years, ever since the loss of my father, she has asked me, as she has probably asked some of you, “Pamela, why has God continued to let me live? I’m ready to go now. But I don’t understand it. He continues to let me live.”

For a while, I had no response. I would be quiet. Shake my head. Or I would change the subject.

And then, one day, it struck me hard on the forehead. (smacks forehead) He let her live because she is a living example to all of us. He let her live to continue to bring others to Christ. He let her live because she still has a purpose and a message to deliver. And finally, He let her live, to pray for my sorry behind!

She was the person to talk to when the going got tough. She would shoulder your burden with you.

She had a wide yoke.

She listened.

She would give you wisdom that made you think.

And then, she would pray with you.

Her prayers, I believe, were a direct link to God.

Seriously, I think she had the ‘hot line.’

Because, trust me, if SHE made the request, it was usually delivered. God’s time, of course, but I think he rarely told her no. I believe that is why we all went to her. She understood. And she kept it real.

Growing up, how many times would I catch her, on her knees at the foot of her bed praying?

How about more than I could ever count.

We had fun! Years of it! She would take me shopping to Town North or Park Row Shopping Centers, where we would have lunch and buy pretty dresses for both of us and shoes and purses to match her outfits. Talk about a clothes horse! That woman could dress. Twice a year she would take me to Leonards over in Ft. Worth to buy Jumping Jack shoes. She would park the car and we would ride the subway train. Have lunch at the Dime Store counter. It was Glorious fun!

Once, when I was 5 years old, we rode a train together all the way from Cedar Rapids, Iowa back down to Texas! An adventure to remember.

And it didn’t stop there. I went on vacation with her and Pap-paw Dennis every summer! Well, every summer until I turned 13…and then someone else came along and spoiled my fun…(points and looks at Gregory)

Do not stand at my grave and weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die. ~ Author ~ Mary Elizabeth Frye

She did not die. She lives eternally now, with Jesus.

She was a true Prayer Warrior. Like her Mother before her, the Matriarch of our family for many years. We will miss her with ALL of our hearts.

Takotsubo. My heart breaks.

Heartbroken,

Nadine Bodine

Your Very BEST friend in the whole wide world!

Riding the hospice roller coaster is really scary! You’d better be prepared to hang on tight, ‘cause it’s not for sissies my friends. There are twists and turns and unexpected highs and lows. And just when you think it’s gonna be over, the pace will pick up again. You’ll find yourself flung head first in a whoosh of a downward spiral only to be abruptly climbing within seconds; jerked back as the gears catch for the slow ascent back to the top.

This isn’t my first hospice roller coaster; and I pray it won’t be my last.

Sounds pretty morbid to some, I admit. But in truth, while I’m just about scared out of my wits, it has to be one of the most privileged things I’ve ever taken part in with the exception to the birth of my own child, Dramamine.
I was graced with the privilege to be present while my Daddy, known in the HFTP as Double R, Garry to others, was bridging the gap from this world to the one beyond. He lived hard. And he died hard. And it was a scary thing to watch. As the oldest child, and the only child of my parents, the responsibilities of carrying out Daddy’s wishes were mine, and mine alone.

This time, it’s different. My 96 year old g-maw, Maydine, is ready to go. Heck! She’s been ready since my g-paw died 21 years ago! And the decline we’ve seen in the last 2 years since Daddy went on has been slow and steady. You just can’t rev the engine for 96 years and expect it to last forever.

Sooner or later, the engine is going to wear out. I just pray mine lasts that long.

For the record…these Hospice Nurses are Saints in the making. I’ll be calling Rome in short order to request canonizations! The love, compassion, grace, tenderness and caring for my g-maw is so far and beyond the call of duty that I am humbled in their presence.

Not to mention the care they have shown our family. As they listen, console, hug, pray with, laugh with and cry with us we are overwhelmed by their presence. And the food! My goodness, every detail has been attended to.

But g-maw isn’t ready let go to just yet.

So we hang on to the Hospice Roller Coaster for dear life!

Not knowing which direction to expect.

Praying for an easy send off to the other side. Grateful that I can be present to wave her off and hoping she can save me a place next to her at Jesus’ feet; because right now, it’s the only place I wanna be.

Prayerfully and Peacefully yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your Very BEST friend in the whole wide world!