Nadine on…The Discernment between Fear and Danger


I woke up again last night at 2:48 a.m. With the same fearful thoughts in my mind. 

How many times does this happen to you? You wake up in the night startled or with an overwhelming sense of fear? Or complete dread?

Once is enough for me.

What do you do?

What I do is start praying. First I pray that Jesus takes the devil out of my mind. Then I start thanking God for ALL of the abundance I have. And then I pray for the situation that woke me up with those feelings. 

JC today speaks along the same lines. Don’t waste your time mulling over the small stuff. Because it can consume you. And then you have no reserve for the big stuff. 

Don’t spend too much time dwelling or worrying about things over which you have no control. Ring familiar? 

Oh to be more like our idol Miss Scarlett O’Hara! 

Danger IS real. Fear is not. Training ourselves in the discernment between those two can make for one happy family trailer park! 

Discerningly yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 

Coffee Talk with Nadine

So much to do and not enough time to do it all in. With busy lives full of hiccups it’s no wonder we feel stress. 

The days and weeks become so long and the weekends…just not long enough. 

But I learned something this weekend at church. And while getting a little wind therapy yesterday evening it hit me in the face…along with a huge dragon fly. Splat! 

God’s sovereign will, in conjunction to His moral will (the law) and His personal will (what He wants for my life) is worked out in advance. Even when my choices mitigate the outcomes.

He isn’t some kind of God sitting up in heaven looking down like some sort of Woidy Allen character wringing his hands. 

What He is…is omnipotent and omnipresent. All seeing. All knowing. He does work out everything according to his will.

He is providential aka directive. And he is permissive. Allows us to make choices. Simultaneously. He is the master at multitasking. 

And we serve the ultimate multi tasker. God has the ability to simultaneously take on ALL of your needs. 

(Please read that last sentenance again.)

What can you lay at his feet? 

Multitaskingly yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole entire world

Nadine On…Failure to Thrive with the Adult Child

Kudos to the parents of adult children who are blessed with bright and successful people on the move. Your own personal success and joys are brought to life again vicariously through theirs. You are counted among the lucky ones. Yes. I said it, lucky. Because no matter how Dr. Spock your parenting skills are, each child is uniquely different and uniquely exposed to different sets of circumstances and the odds are Not forever in your favor. So count yourself lucky. 
And woe to the parent with an adult child in their twenties, thirties and (shudders for all I’m worth) forties who still lives with them. This is a child who, for unforeseen/ inexplainable reasons, has Failed to Thrive. 

More times than not these are the kids who can’t get/keep a job or who constantly bounce from employer to employer. They may be in and out of correctional facilities sprinkled with fun visits to the 10th floor of John Petersmith Hospital. (Pardon my local reference…the psyche unit of your local hospital.)

It’s not about whether or not they were good parents. Providing a good home, clothes and food, soccer practice or even church. This goes much deeper into what we call in the trailer park “Co-dependency Relationship Malfunction.” And it sucks. On both sides. 

It’s a vicious wheel. 

If you have seen the movie Failure to Launch you have been entertained with a humorous version of failing to thrive. If not, it’s about a young thirty-ish man who still lives with his parents. The parents want their space and their house back. The man-child wants home cooked meals, his own space, cable TV and his laundry done by his Momma. While he is a delightful person to be around, the parents still crave autonomy. Setting him up with a girl backfires in their faces when the man-child finds out. But it ends right and the father finally gets his “nekked” room. Something Jose’ has always dreamt about. 

Failing to thrive most times revolves around financial. I label them the Money Pit Children. Because no matter how much money you throw at them they still return for more. And loaning them money is a joke because that doesn’t ever get paid back. If they have guilt about it, at least you know they have a conscious. But you are still left with a hole in your wallet and an even bigger hole in your heart. 

So, you ask…what to do? How can I teach an adult child who refuses to participate in the human race with the rest of us? 

The answer is complicated. But it begins with an awareness. If I teach you nothing else, I hope to teach you awareness. Of yourself, your own personal history of successes and failures and how You learned to thrive on Your own. My guess is, you sank or swam. You didn’t have someone doling out dollars and time and effort to make sure you were ok. Oh, you may have had support in other ways. People checking in from time to time. But I am pretty sure you didn’t have someone constantly up your butt to prod you along in life. 

That’s how you do it. 

Judicious support. Aka Tough Love. Remember that term? 

And sometimes you just throw little pieces chocolate from the corner of the room. 

Tough-lovingly yours, 

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world