Nadine’s Free Advice Friday ~ 07/27/18

Here is this week’s Free Advice:

Trailer Park Birth Control ~ The Myth Busters

As a public service announcement the following myths about birth control in the trailer park need busting.

It has been assumed in the trailer park that birth control is not necessary if you are not in love with the person you are having relations with. This is a myth. Conception has no concept of love.

Additionally, if one is 21 years old and was told by a Doctor, a term used liberally here…(must have been a Witch Doctor!)…they cannot get pregnant then they cannot get pregnant. The advice here would be to seek a second opinion. Men!!! If a woman-child tells you this please do rethink the whole process and abort that mission!!! It could be trap! Or consider you are planning to have relations with the dumbest woman on the planet. Either way, it is likely to be a lose-lose situation. This is a myth. Conception has no concept of 21 year olds told by a Doctor they are an infertile myrtle.

If a person has not ever had sexual relations before in their entire life…i.e. it is their first time, they cannot get pregnant. Again, Myth. If anything, first timers are super fertile myrtles!

Likewise, if you yourself, are or if the female tells you she is menopausal/peri-menopausal and cannot get pregnant lest it be the ‘Second Coming’…don’t buy into that. Anything is possible. Protect your assets unless you want to be the ‘Grandpa Dad.’ Myth. Peri-menopausals/menopausals can be quite fertile and pose many more risks to both Mother and child. Myth.

And a quick word about drugs and alcohol! Just don’t. Not only does it impair your judgement and you wake up without your beer goggles…but you just might wake up pregnant or making someone pregnant! Conception loves it when you are drunk!

Before you take the plunge just ask yourself the following question: Do I really want to do this?…or do I want to NOT be responsible for a child for the next 18 years?

Knowing that getting pregnant is not the ‘worst’ thing that can happen to you, think Syphyllis, Claudia, Ghonorrhea and HIV, here in the trailer park we advocate for safe sex. And we bust those myths every day with education and common sense talk long before we get to the damage control stage. You are not special punkin…pregnancy happens to the best of us. And not only through planned parenthood.

Other ridiculous trailer park birth control practices include ‘pulling out of the trailer park before the fireworks show,’ telling the trailer park ‘you will change and love them forever’ and the ever popular ‘we are getting back together to try and make it work.’ All epic failures in trailer park birth control.

Included on this list is also ‘we are on vacation’ or ‘we have ordered a new double wide.’ Destined to result in an unwanted pregnancy.

So there it all is. Advice for the ‘Condomly Challenged.’ And if you remember nothing from this Free Advice Friday the take away is this…Double Glove BEFORE you love! ❤️

It’s FREE! As in No Charge. Nada. Doesn’t cost you one single thing. As head Queen of the Trailer Park and the Self-Appointed Life Coach to many, this is just another service I provide. A quick reminder last week’s advice was: USE YOUR GIFTS! 🎁 Do please go read, like and share as you see fit.

Advisingly yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 🌎☮️❤️🚋