A slow crawl…

Rebuilding self-esteem is a really big job. Sometimes it is an uphill climb. Prior to meeting Jose’ and moving here to our little trailer park by the sea, self-esteem rebuilding came at a slow but steady crawl.

It began 14 years ago by losing 210 lbs. in one day. A divorce! Ha!

Shortly after that painful/joyful extrication, a well-meaning friend told me it would take me five years to ‘get over it.’ Laughing I responded that he was already in my rear-view mirror. Little did I know.

Two years later my mother, Mawdine, commented as she held my face in her hands, “She’s back!” Proof that other people had noticed my going away and my coming back to myself.

Yesterday, a recently divorced dear friend from school called me to ask me how long it was that I was clearing out and cleaning up the stuff he left behind. Up to that point I had not given it too much thought. Supposing that it had all been cleared out long ago. But it had not; because I still find things from time to time that take me back to one of my past lives.

We have had many lives, as one other sweet friend recently reminded me.

Many lives that have given way to another. Much like the calving of a glacier. That sloughing off of the old to reveal new, fresh, yet raw surfaces.

I’ll bet you have had many lives too.

With each new life comes a hope and a promise for some personal growth. Believe me, there have been times that I had no idea there was so much personal growth possible! With that growth there is always a pairing of getting back to the center of me. Parts of the old me come shining through. The best parts, I think.

We call them ‘seasons’ now; ‘We’ meaning friends my age. Thank you Erik Erickson.

The slow crawl back to oneself does not have to be uphill or without hope. The point being…just keep moving. Don’t look back.

Whether you are moving forward in a positive direction or moving towards center, recognize it is a process. A journey. Your journey. It won’t look the same as mine does; although, sometimes paths converge.

As you travel back to yourself, don’t forget to look out the window and see some sights along the way. Ok?

Crawlingly yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 🌎☮️❤️🚋

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