This week’s free Advice will be coming to you in two parts.

Both Jose’ and I have some advice for men and women about finding true love. Some Do’s and Dont’s for the first date…But first some sage wisdom prior to getting to that point.

Before we give any valued advice we both would like to advise…Stop looking so hard. Stop being so desperate. Stop posting on social media about looking. Stop whining that you haven’t met your match. Instead, take some action about the process of love by way of working on you. Relax. Just let the process flow. And Network!

Networking is your friend when looking for love…lest y’all look for love in all the wrong places (Cue Johnny Lee). Avoid free Internet Dating websites. Y’all get what you pay for. And if you’re not paying for it you’re gonna attract a LOT of weirdos.

Your friends probably know best about personal references and compatibilities. They ‘see’ things you may not always see. Later on they will see Red Flags you may not see. Pay attention to them. They are your friends and they mean well!

From Jose’ to women…

1- Don’t wear too much perfume.

2- Don’t wear too much makeup or show too much cleavage.

3- Don’t be fake.

4- Don’t try to jump the check on the first date, but do offer to go Dutch when the check arrives if the date is not going well. Don’t be a Gold Digger.

5- Don’t be a beeyach if the first date goes south.

6- Don’t have your friends call you every 30 min checking in to see if the date is going south.

7- Don’t set the bar too high. Keep it real. If you weigh >250 lbs and are 5’ tall you are not going to end up with a Male Super Model. Stay within your weight and class.

8- Unless you are really hungry, don’t order an appetizer, three drinks, the most expensive item on the menu, a dessert and then ask for a take home box. That’s just tacky.

9- Unless you are sick don’t make excessive trips to the bathroom to touch up your makeup or rat out your hair.

10 – If the date is going south be woman enough to shake hands, say Thank you and leave. Don’t promise another date leaving the carrot on the string.

From Nadine to the men…

1- Men don’t take business/personal phone calls at the table. If you must take the call don’t talk shop at the table. Politely excuse yourself and don’t be gone more than 2-3 minutes.

2- Don’t flash your wallet with all of your money and credit cards and definitely don’t lay out your American Express Centurion Card 20 minutes before the bill arrives.

3- Don’t wear too much gold or cologne. Don’t show too much cleavage or butt crack! Pull up your pants.

4- Don’t talk about your ex-wives/girlfriends in a deragatory way. Or in any way. It makes you look bad. Likewise don’t post your trash talk on Social Media.

5- Don’t ask so many questions that it seems like the Spanish Inquisition. Play fair with 50/50 talk about yourself and your date.

6- Don’t get all touchy feely and try to kiss/grope/man handle on the first date. Just be normal and hold hands.

7- Not until the end of the date…and then only if the date has gone well, always ask permission if you can kiss her before you kiss her…not as you are doing it.

8- Don’t set the bar too high. If your idea of a six pack is six cold Budweiser’s in a bucket of ice, don’t expect to date a woman who looks like a Super Model. Keep it real dudes.

9- Don’t stare and/or try to engage or flirt with other women. That includes the waitress.

10 – If the date is going south be man enough to shake hands, say Thank you and leave. Don’t promise to call leaving the carrot on the string.

For both sexes…don’t take yourself so seriously.

It’s FREE! As in No Charge. Nada. Doesn’t cost you one single thing. As head Queen of the Trailer Park and the Self-Appointed Life Coach to many, this is just another service I provide. A quick reminder last week’s advice was: Trailer Park Divorce 101. Do please go read, like and share as you see fit.

Advisingly yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 🌎☮️❤️🚋