Is it just me?

Even before I started teaching…every year, about this time, I start to regroup. I get past the seasonal thought that…OK! School has started back and I should be back in the groove. But, every year, I am not. I go in and out of the groove and it’s always a tad jerky.

By now I am feeling that life should be routine. It ‘should’ feel normal. Flow like a smooth quiet stream on its way to the holidays full of fun, family, friends and fellowship…and then. WHAM! It hits me smack in the face…that quiet, small, smooth flowing stream is picking up steam! It just got wider. It is more like a river at this point. The pace is getting faster! But I don’t want it to get faster. I just wanna coast along. Smoothly. Like a stream. I don’t want a river. I didn’t buy into this river idea. I’d like my stream back please. I think the recruiter lied!

I drag my paddle in the water in an attempt to slow the pace.

Doesn’t work.

About the time I realize that…it’s.not.working…I look up and out ahead in the water. I see a big stick in the water…paddle now. Paddle will ya?! Getting closer I see it’s not a stick, it’s a whole tree! Divert! Avert! Paddle harder, the current is sweeping me, not the other way around.

Best I can do is lean. And paddle.

Hard!

Trying to think fast on my feet. Ok…think smart. Work smart not hard…to ‘steer’ with the paddle. Focus! Just don’t ‘hit’ the tree.

Or worse. Capsize!

Moving towards survival mindset now. What’s best? Jump and risk swimming to the shore? Maybe drown from the undertow? Lose the boat? Hit the tree and risk damaging the boat? I decide to keep paddling like hell? Do whatever I can to miss the tree.

But I’m already paddling as fast and hard as I possibly can. And I am wearing out. I am tired. Weary.

But hey! Look up! There are some other people in the boat with me. Why didn’t I see them before? Where was my focus? Switch focus. Hand them a paddle. Ask for their help. Good idea! 💡

I’m going to be ok. We are going to be ok.

It may be a new season. And there may be hiccups and whole trees in the way. And I can go through this. With a little help I will move on down the river…that will once again become a stream.

Paddling like hell…

Yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 🌎☮️❤️🚋