Keto Baby Steps vs. Diet Weekend Warriors

Have you ever reached your limit? Knowing that stepping on that scale to see yourself one pound heavier is going to make your head completely spin off?

Yup! (raises hand and tries to make eye-contact with someone who can help)

A year ago this was me. I was so done with myself. So tired of feeling tired. Because the sugars and carbs in bread/rice/pasta products always converted quickly into stored fat in places on my body that I would just as soon NOT have. You know those places…like your chin(s), your belly/jelly roll of flubber around your middle and that all too ‘precious’ BACK FAT!!! (Screams!)

I had been gluten free for a year. But it just was not enough. I was still eating sugar in other forms. The fat remained in spite of eliminating the processed gluten.

The step off of that scale was my first baby step into the Keto Lifestyle.

We do not say ‘diet’ here in the Keto Trailer Park…because the word diet, in and of itself, implies a temporary status. Lifestyle is fa-evah my dahlings! We are doing this fa-evah! Because we love it and live it every single day for the rest of our healthy and beautiful lives. Can I get an amen?

When you start with small changes that sometimes feel like major hurdles…the big changes begin to come with ease. So here we go…a few small Baby Steps. Come go with me.

Baby Step 1 – Eliminate all products containing sugar or wheat from your pantry. Say Adios to chips, crackers, snack mixes, breakfast bars, cake mixes, bread mixes, wheat flours, rice mixes/rice, quick fix pasta meals, etc. Load all of this up in Wally bags and take it to your local food pantry/Salvation Army kitchen/Catholic Charities…you get me. And please don’t forget your receipt! Because this crap is expensive! Take that off of your taxes.

Baby Step 2 – Maybe the same day? Maybe not. If you are like me? The first few days I am a Diet Weekend Road Warrior. Best to get it done while you are on a roll and cannot backslide.

Eliminate any and ALL foods in your refrigerator that contain sugar. Sugar has many names. Google it! Read ALL labels and either give the opened containers to a friend, neighbor, Co-worker? Or take them to the office and place in the office frig for those onery co-workers/nay sayers to use up. Because if you are like me…you cannot stand to see food wasted. Even if it is poisonous to you.

At this point have a pep talk with yourself that you are clearing your kitchen of all substances that are toxic to you and your family. Even if you have ‘littles’ do not buy into the premise that you are depriving them of their sugar. Lord! Do you want them to grow up with the same unhealthy associations with food and sugar that you have? No ma’m/sir! You do not. Buy healthier alternatives of snacks for them and keep them in a special cabinet that is OFF LIMITS to you. More on this in another post.

Make it go away. ALL OF IT!

Baby Step 3 – Go through your spice cabinet and cull out anything that contains sugar here too! Pull your trash can over to the cabinet and just toss this mess. No sense at this point in sharing the crappeth.

You will find that by now you are reading every label and making intelligent choices about not only what is ‘In’ your food…but what you put ‘On’ your food.

Get this stuff out of your kitchen/house.

And get ready to make a shopping list. Because you are going to need healthy provisions. Switch the gears in your mind to think about food as fuel. And sugar is not part of the mix. It makes the engine run inefficiently.

Take a few Baby Steps here with us. Find a support group that shares success stories and recipes. And get ready for a healthier and fit lifestyle and looser jeans! Summer is just around the corner. Come go with me…in Baby Steps.

And now for the license disclosure…because I am a nurse and not licensed to prescribe a diet or any medications for you the information provided is purely my and my husband’s own personal success. It is never a bad idea to check with a licensed provider prior to embarking on any weight loss plan. Just know that the medical community has literally a thimble full of information about Keto and will stand firm on their food pyramid of the last 25 years! However, their evidence-based research should be enough to turn anyone away from it to explore something new.

Steppingly yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 🌎☮️♥️🚋

Blessed are the Peacemakers

Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall inherit the earth. Daddy was a peacemaker and where ever he went he brought peace, and when he left…he left a wide berth in his wake.

Recently I read a piece that stated there are Four types of people in your life. The first type do Not like you. And they NEVER will. They number about 25 percent. Through age and discernment I’m good with that.

Ok…so I kept reading…hopeful about the remaining 75 percent.

Of those remaining, the article also said that 25 percent ‘can’ and ‘will’ like you…given the right set of circumstances. Well, at least that was promising to a people pleaser like myself.

Next the article mentioned about 25 percent DO like you…but, there’s always a but! But, given the wrong set of circumstances…they won’t like you. Dang! Just when I thought I was building a team.

And the remaining 25 percent? They are loyal. They WILL like you. Come what may.

Daddy knew this. And he was able to keep this in perspective. He was ok with the haters and the nay sayers. But his acceptance did not come without years of trial and error. And he remained a peacemaker no matter the circumstance.

We miss you Dad. We all miss you.

#Garry

#DoubleR

#IntoTheWind

Peacefully yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 🌎☮️♥️🚋

Nadine on…How to find ALL of the arthritis in your body in just 3 bites!

So here I am talking with a colleague who is telling me how bad she hurts every day. Every day she has pain. And she tells me how bad it really is. And I ‘know’ this pain, because I’ve had it myself many times before. But I don’t have it now, so I am listening to her story and I am trying to be as empathetic as I can.

But it’s a little difficult for me…because I’ve kicked the pain.

And I know what she needs to do to make the pain STOP.

And I have even shared with her how to make her own pain stop. But she chooses not to follow my suggestion. And I feel sorry for her.

Fast forward to this morning where I am in the MOST intense pain I have been in in a very long while. Like 11 months to be exact.

Daaaaaaaaamit! I cannot walk. I can hardly straighten my back. I feel hobbled. Each foot shuffles in front of the other and each step is EXCRUCIATING! I’m not kidding. I hurt. And I don’t like it. And it’s ALL MY FAULT!

Now for the confession…My name is Nadine, and I am addicted to sugar. It is my heroin. Keto sisters and brothers, I have sinned. I ate 3! Seriously 3! 1” x 1” squares of cake, soaked in tequila, battered in tempura, fried, dusted with powdered sugar and drizzled with chocolate syrup. That’s it! That’s all I had. Three stinking bites!!!

And now I feel like a 100 year old woman! Oh my goodness the arthritis pain in my neck, shoulders, back and bilateral knees, the left being worse than the right is ridiculous.

All I am left to say is, we had our fun. I am paying the price. And NOW! it’s time to get back to the Real World of Keto Lifestyle. Adios Sugar. Hasta la Never!

Arthritically yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 🌎☮️♥️🚋

Nadine on… ‘Awakened’

Ya’ll are not going to like this.

I am certain of it. And many others will find and take offense.

But the term ‘awakened’ historically comes from a biblical source.

It literally means to become alive again from a stupor or slumber.

In old times many cultures, including the Irish, would have a ‘wake’ following the death of a loved one. For 3 days the family would gather and celebrate in hopes that the dead would wake from their slumber and rejoin the living. After 3 days, if not awake, the reality check got cashed, and then preparations for burial would commence.

Recently while reading a book titled ‘Waverly’s’ I came across this passage…”It is more tragic to live a default life of worldly security and safety from pain and heartbreak than it is to experience loss and be ‘AWAKENED’ to the value of time and love.”

Just struck me like a lightening bolt to the chest.

That constant seeking of being safe and secure REALLY is not living at all.

It is the equivalent of being physically, mentally and spiritually dead.

Safety and security are not what they are cracked up to be. Longing for that flatline of security and safety only gets you more dead than you already are.

Life is more about the hiccups and the bumps in the road than the calm and steady waters.

If Double R taught me anything, it is this…Taking risks, betting on the underdog, NOT following the crowd is where life is at.

While some would sit with their hands in their lap and say “Why?” I stand boldly and say “Why not?”

Make this year the year you do something different. Find a new challenge. Hone a new skill. Do something you never thought you would or could do. I am not suggesting you climb Mount Everest or run a marathon…unless you are up to that challenge.

Start small. Eat at a new restaurant. Read a genre of book that you never have before. Learn to fly fish. Take dance lessons. Hell! Run a marathon if you will.

Start with a baby step in that direction. Anything.

I dare you to be ‘Different’ with me!

Awakenedly yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 🌎☮️♥️🚋💃

Nadine on…the Nativity

Good morning and Merry Christmas from the little Trailer Park by the sea.

I am so thankful that I am not drunk and can’t find the Baby Jesus! Ha.

This is my favorite time of day and my most treasured Christmas tradition. I love waking earlier than the rest of the house and walking around, coffee cup in hand, placing the Baby Jesus’ where they belong in each one of my nativities.

Growing up Protestant I never learned the custom of waiting until Christmas morning to place the Baby Jesus in the manger. He was always there. However, as an adult Catholic convert I was more than happy to adopt the custom of waiting until Christmas morning to nestle him in his little spot between his parents. It made the birth so much more significant to me. As I walk by the nativities so carefully placed throughout my home it heightens my anticipation of the arrival of the Christ child. It reminds me that his birth was carefully planned and his presence in our lives should be greeted with anticipation.

My Aunt, Cuisine, gave me this beautiful glass nativity pictured below. It was expensive and has a special box where it resides for safe keeping. At Christmastime I love to display it in a prominent place in my home. One of my favorite Christmas gifts ever.

This one I bought at the Dollar Gentral. I treasure it no less than the very expensive glass one. And since we lost Joseph in the move and now it symbolizes single Mothers everywhere.

And this one was my Grand Mother’s and holds a very significant place in my heart. Made of plastic it has endured a lot of extreme weather conditions giving witness to how hard it is to raise a child.

He is born! He is here! Let us proclaim it from our hearts and homes!

Merry Christmas from our Trailer Park to yours!

Natively yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 🌎☮️❤️🚋🎄

Nadine’s Free Advice Friday: Foolproof Santa Photo-Op Advice

Do you have small children/little people in your house? Are they afraid of Santa Claus? Have you had a poor experience complete with mini melt down with a child or grandchild under the age of three?!!!

If you haven’t then count yourself blessed. I am one of the blessed…But only because of this highly fail-proof and perfectly executed technique!

For those that have had a negative personal experience with the fat man or have had a near miss…this advice is for you!

Trust me, when perfectly executed…this works! Caution- DO NOT DEVIATE FROM THIS PLAN! As the guarantee is null and void if you deviate.

It has been Trailer Park field tested 4 times, so far, without failure! That’s a 4 for 4 success folks. 100% guaranteed or your money back!

Here are the steps:

First, take your child to the mall where Santa is set up. Belt your child securely in a stroller. But DON’T get within 100 yards. Just close enough for your child to recognize that it’s Santa’s castle/workshop. Tell your child that Santa is here from the North Pole to take their order for what they might want for Christmas. They might want to reconsider being good from now till Christmas!

And then, go home.

Several days to one week later, return to the mall with the same drill. Only this time tell your child that you are too busy today to stand in line and wait for Santa. You really wish you could take them now, but you can’t! After all look at the long line of kids who are waiting to tell him how good they have been! And what they want for Christmas. Be prepared to whip out “Don’t let Santa see you throwing a fit or crying!” In case of melt down. Apologize to your child/grandchild that you are sorry and that you promise you will return for that very special day to see Santa soon!

Again, go home.

And finally, on ‘make good to your promise day’ set the kid up and have their shirt/outfit set out the night before. Wake up early and have a nice breakfast and then get all dressed up for the Santa visit and photo op!!! Take lots of $$ because those pics aren’t cheap. And you don’t even care because this time there will only be smiles!

And finally, display your perfectly executed Santa Pics proudly each year in a prominent place in your trailer.

Disclaimer: this method is backed by personal evidence based research on one unsuspecting child and three unsuspecting grandchildren.

Good Luck!

Photo-operantly yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 🌎☮️❤️🚋

Thanksgiving Day traditions Old and New

PSA…there is no one right way to do Thanksgiving. When you live in the Trailer Park you have to be flexible.

Willing to throw caution to the wind, Jose’ and I had a family meeting to discuss this year’s Thanksgiving plan.

Over the years, Thanksgiving and the holidays in general have come with hiccups and last minute surprises; and in discussing that there is ‘no right way’ to do any holiday, much less Thanksgiving…Jose’ and I had a meeting of the minds. For the first time in many years, as a result of that meeting, came our way.

For starters, both of us love us a good old fashioned deep fried turkey! It is moist and delicious and totally within our Keto Lifestyle. So a fried bird makes the top of the menu plan! We can fry a 12 pound bird in about 36 minutes. Pair that with some of OpalMaurine’s Ketofied Ho-made trailer park orange cranberry relish, Keto bread with lots of mayo for a sandwich and a beer! And voila’ we have Thanksgiving meal done! With little or no fuss.

And the pre-Thanksgiving chicken and French fry fry off tradition continues with the neighbors Luludine and Hans Solo. Paired with a few Lonestar Longnecks, some Premiere Corona, Ho-made Egg Nog and a 30 year old bottle of brandy! I can’t believe we are almost out of Brandy after 30 years, can you?!

After the parade the rest of the day is left for other traditional and non-traditional fun stuff that we both enjoy together.

Fun stuff like staying in our pajamas all morning and drinking coffee while watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. When IS the last time you sat and watched it? I can’t remember. But I LOVE it! For this year, it is first up on the plan!

Fun stuff like going out for a nice motorcycle ride along the blue highway. While most people on our island will be at home cooking up a storm we will be out riding in the sunshine for a piece.

Fun stuff like watching football. This one is very high up on the list for Jose’. Add another turkey sandwich, some snacks, some awesome pie and probably more beer and Jose’ will be one happy camper!

Other weekend fun stuff includes shooting guns at the local range, pulling down all the Christmas crap from the attic and possibly hitting a movie or two in the days that follow…but NOT on Thanksgiving Day! We are both firm believers that we should boycott all open businesses so that people can be at home with their families and traditions. Special note, Jose’ gets a Holiday Special Kitchen Pass for putting up the Christmas Crap…but that is a whole other blog post!

No drama. No trauma. No Black Friday shopping. No slaving over a hot microwave. Little expense. Stay within the budget. Quality time spent together. All good.

Yes, we have much gratitude that we live in abundance!!! The perfect Thanksgiving for us this year is paired with fried turkeys, motorcycles, parades, football, Christmas prep, movies, shooting guns and drinking beer; aka: A Trailer Park Thanksgiving.

There is plenty of room for any ‘stray cats’ who have no family/friends they want to argue/fuss and fight with. But you will need to make your reservations quick! Quick!

Whatever you decide to do…enjoy it and find the time to be grateful for whomever and whatever you have. Peace, Love and Trailer Parks. ☮️❤️🚋🦃

Thanksgivingly yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your VERY Best friend in the whole wide world 🌎☮️❤️🚋