Nadine On…The Trailer Park 40 Day Fix- Day 17-Relationships-How to divorce proof your marriage

wedding rings

Consider this a mini ‘how to’ guide to protect your relationship with your spouse or significant other and stay on that proverbial honeymoon!

Jose’ and I will be celebrating our 8th year of ‘marital bliss’ this weekend.

OK, so that’s what we’ve agreed to call it.

Having survived the 7th year itch with flaming colors, we will be high-fiving it all the way to the restaurant!

In spite of job-geographical separation, week-end duties and Ice-amegeddon this past year, we’ve made it to the top of the 8th  inning!

Go us!

People frequently ask me, how did I find such a great guy like my husband, Jose’? And I tell them. I didn’t. He found me. God put him there for me. And he didn’t get there for me without a whole lot of prayer and prayerful consideration.

How else would such a fantastic guy fall into my path? I didn’t just conjure him up and make him ask me to marry him in 10 short days! It was part of the plan.

And better still, people ask me how can we keep it together? Well, some of it is smoke and mirrors, some of it is pure luck and most of it is VERY.HARD.WORK!

On his part.

And some on mine. We all know I’m not an easy woman to live with and it’s a wonder he didn’t reconsider. Living in a double wide comes with some hefty high maintenance fees.

Had I known he had a fetish for sunglasses, ball hats and tennis shoes, I might have reconsidered as well.

But once we eliminated all of the t-shirts from the Blood Bank, got his eyes fixed with Lasix surgery and got him back on a Harley, Jose’ cleaned up into a mighty fine husband/partner/lover/best friend/boyfriend and co-conspirator against our blended family of kids and gkids! Second and third marriages, don’t judge!, are hard. Even harder if you are blending families.

As of late, divorce is becoming quite prevalent in the HFTP (Happy Family Trailer Park.) And so I have come up with some ideas to help you out there to divorce proof your marriage.  Our marriage is all about MY happiness. Jose’ gets that…now “if” the rest of you could get it, then we’d all get along just fine!

Anyway, couples who seem to be so great together are reaching that 7-year-itch phase and instead of growing closer together, they move farther apart. It is a sad thing to witness.

I was a victim, never liked that word, of divorce as a child…Ok, really I was a grown 21 year old woman. But it was still traumatic when my own parents, after 21 years of marriage, decided to split the sheets. It stunk!

Therefore, I vowed before God and man to never let it happen to me…only to find myself in peril after a mere18 months into my first wedding, that a “marriage” had ensued. Go figure. And quite frankly, even at the ripe old age of 25, it was just too soon for the both of us to handle. We did divorce, without any children or property to argue over and went happily along our separate little ways. And good news, today, we are still friends.

A second marriage was entered into a mere 7 years later, I thought we both had all the bad behaviors out of our systems, and were ready for that lifetime commitment. In fact, part of the marriage vows went something like this: “Somebody’s gonna have to die to get out of this. And darlin’ you can go the easy way, or the hard way. Doesn’t matter to me!” Tongue in cheek, I think we both actually “did” mean it at the time.

And finally, a third marriage has led me to a lifetime commitment with my sweet Babboo, Jose’. Who truly treats me like the Self-Appointed Renaissance HFTP Queen that I am! I’ve met my match and do feel that this will be the last marriage I ever enter into. Namely, because no one else would or could ever treat me as well as he does and I just wouldn’t be able to stand it if they didn’t. I’m a spoiled rotten egg!

So…the point of this ramble is this. Divorce stinks and marriage is really, really difficult. And it takes a lot more than a big fat wedding, chemistry, crushes, financial/emotional/spiritual/physical investments to make one work. It takes some work, here people! And a lot of work to make it work well. It isn’t anything we enter into lightly. We think. We think we know our own minds. But things happen. And while some people change and grow, others don’t…which leads to the issues.

And if you’re the one at the end of the commitment wondering ‘what happened?’ Then guess what, cowboy…you’re the one who didn’t grow.

Life is hard. Marriage is harder. But divorce is a big old pain in the behind that leaves a lot of scars, heavy bags and bad feelings that domino across not only your little immediate family but to your extended family, your church, friends and jobs.

And you never know for sure who you’re gonna get custody of.

The experts say couples fight about two things mostly…Sex and Money. And in my own experience, I would say this is partly true. So you need to get those two things established early on. As far as money is concerned, decide who will be the bill payer and when and how to pay the bills. Never have separate monies, as this practice, in my own personal experience, leads to selfishness. Jose’ and I put all our monies into one pot and once the bills are paid…Whoever gets to it first. Wins!

When it comes to sex, decide when/where/how you will make whoopee…and how long a hiatus is acceptable before one of you must be the aggressor and make the first move. This is fundamental.

There’s an old story about a young married couple on their honeymoon…it goes something like this…When the couple finally got alone, they began to undress. The man took off his trousers and threw them at his new bride, saying, “Put those on.” She replied, “I can’t wear those! They’re yours.” He rebutted, “Dang Skippy! So now you know WHO wears the pants in this family.” The clever bride then removed her panties and threw them at her new husband. He said, “Are you kidding me? I can’t get into those!” To which” I” cleverly responded…”Dang Skippy! And you won’t with that attitude!”

Because, it seems, that couples fight over the littlest and pettiest of things, Here are five HFTP suggestions to divorce proof your marriage and live as Jose’ and I do in complete and perfect bliss. They are as follows:

  1. Make sure there are plenty of double stuffed Oreos and/or Jalapeno Cheetos in the house. Because an offering of a plate of Oreos or a bag of Cheetos and an ice cold beer can calm almost the most savage of beasts. Especially if you offer it neked! (You’ve heard How to Please a Man?…Show up neked, bring beer and snacks.)
  2. Always have spare batteries for the remote control, as many an argument about the big University of Texas or Cowboy game could be avoided with the implementation of fresh batteries in the remote. Likewise, keep the cell phones charged for last minute calls to the Book Maker.
  3. Establish, early on, like, I’m talking Day 1, which way the toilet paper is gonna roll. And who is responsible for placing a spare roll onto the back of the toilet once the roll is low. Many a marriage could have been saved had they just employed this simple rule from the git go!
  4. Make an even odd day for deciding difficult chores/duties like having to say no to the 11th cute little Girl Scout who comes to the door selling cookies. Even days, you do it…Odd days (since he’s most likely the odd one) he does.
  5. Let him deal with his dysfunctional ex-wife/girlfriend/children and you deal with yours.

Jose’ and I agree that it is much, much too hard to get married. And much, much too easy to get a divorce.

And it ought to be the other way around.

People should have to go through YEARS of counseling and conditioning to have the privilege to marry. And then…if it doesn’t work out…a magic wand should be waved over you and “poof” just like that! You can be divorced.

With one exception…IF you have children involved then you both must ‘suck it up’ and stay together…come what may. If one of you grows up a little and the other one doesn’t… That is just too damn bad. It shouldn’t be that easy to divorce. Because your kids deserve something so much better than that. They definitely deserve better than Daddy’s ‘flavor of the month club’ girlfriend or Momma’s latest ‘Uncle Daddy’ boyfriend!

And if you come to the conclusion that to divorce is the one and only answer, and you have kids to consider, you should have to sit down together at the kitchen table and decide which one of you is gonna take the bullet.

Somebody’s gonna have to die.

Praying for the end of time…just kidding! That’s a phrase from ‘our song!’

Blissfully yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your very BEST friend in the whole wide world

Nadine On…The Forty Day Trailer Park Fix with Nadine- Day 16- Spirit

love is

On my spiritual journey, I have recently encountered a self-bible study workbook, titled simply, “Love Is” by Hannah Walton. Here is a plug for Ms. Hannah, a woman whom I don’t even know.

As patron to the simplified, I think this is something I could pattern my whole life on. The foundation for the workbook is taken from the 13th chapter of first Corinthians.

If you have ever been to a trailer park wedding in your entire life, it is likely that you have heard these verses from I Corinthians 13:4-8:

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.

Since love is God and God is love, Ms. Hannah invites us to re-read this scripture replacing the word ‘love’ with the word ‘God.’ Oh My! What a difference in meaning this takes on!

God is patient.

God is kind.

God does not envy.

God is not jealous or boastful.

God is not rude.

God does not seek his own way.

God is not provoked.

God keeps no record of wrongs.

God thinks no evil, nor does he rejoice in it but celebrates the truth.

God bears all things.

God believes all things.

God hopes all things.

God endures all things.

God never fails.

Spiritually, this is it in a nutshell.

If love is God, and God is love; then God is all of these things.


Nadine Bodine

Your very BEST friend in the whole wide world

Nadine On…The Forty Day Trailer Park Fix with Nadine-Day 13-Spirit

Keep Calm and Peace Out


To have that overwhelming feeling of relief and contentment. There’s nothing like it. To be part of this world, but not be ‘of’ it.

Sometimes, when life just gets too much. And people are too much. We crave that happy place where all is well. Ok, most times.

And if you look for it, most times we find it is, metaphorically, right outside the back door.

But we are so busy ‘twirling’ about all the drama and confusion; we forget how close it really is.

My experience is practicing peace is an art that takes skill and years to perfect. I don’t think you’re born with it. But you can cultivate it. It requires sitting still. It requires overwhelming gratitude for the obvious.

Peace is not the acquisition of ‘things’ because even people with everything don’t always have peace. Peace, therefore, is independent of what you have or don’t have. Peace is a place in your heart.

Again, Saint Paul told the Philippians, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6

So, the take home is: don’t worry, pray, humbly ask and be grateful.

Namaste yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your very BEST friend in the whole wide world

Nadine On…The Forty Day Trailer Park Fix with Nadine-Day 1-An Introduction

This first day, of forty to follow, is primarily an Introduction. As I have mentioned before on more than one occasion, and as some of you already know firsthand, in addition to being a Self-Appointed Renaissance Trailer Park Queen I am also a Self-Appointed Life Coach to many.  It may also interest you to know that I also Life Coach many famous stars, who, for now, will remain nameless.  As long as they pay their bill.

Luck you! Because for the next forty days, I’ll be ‘your’ Self-Appointed Life Coach for FREE! Embark with me, if you will.

Or not, it’s completely your choice.

Usually, I would interject a cuss word before the word ‘choice’ in the previous sentence; however, since it is Lent, I am abstaining from cursing (shakes fist at sky).

We will be taking a little stroll through all of the aspects of our lives. The advice dispensed will be completely unsolicited and hopefully received in the spirit and intent in which it is given.  I’ll be looking in the mirror as I post.  Mostly because your lives (and mine) are a big old sloppy mess. That is southern belle for; Honey you’re just a little TRAIN WRECK aren’t you? (tilts head to shoulder and smiles sweetly)

There are all kinds of ‘fixes’ out there, but few and far between that integrate and extrapolate ALL aspects of our lives. This fix promises to do just that. In a mere forty days, Nadine and I will show you how to fix your trailer park; mind, body, spirit, job, relationships, house and car.

In just forty days.

For free.

Forever yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your very BEST friend in the whole entire world

Nadine On…Lent, aka/The Forty Day Trailer Park Fix with Nadine

Forty days of sacrifice, self-improvement and a chance to help others is already here! It’s tomorrow!  And I’m stoked!

Lent is an awesome time to reflect about those New Year’s Resolutions gone bad. A time to re-birth, rejuvenate and re-invent you.

But it’s not just about giving something up; although, if you’ve got some bad habits or some areas of your life that need improvement, no better time than during lent. I certainly do suggest you reflect on those, as I will on mine. Additionally, it is a time to reach out and do something nice for someone else.

And you don’t have to be Catholic to do it.

While many people love the Christmas season and celebrate with vigor for 4-6 weeks before it actually ‘is’ Christmas Day, I consider myself an Easter person. Don’t misunderstand, I like Christmas for all the right reasons.  I think. But I LOVE Easter.

I’m fascinated by the whole pagan versus religious history of Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, Fishless Friday’s, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Saturday Vigil and finally beautiful Easter Morning.

Ok, so here’s the pitch. For the next Forty days, I’m giving up the customary Chocolate. So, no Girl Scout cookies for me! Good thing they freeze well. And I have plans to get that 30 minute workout in. Every. Single. Day.

Also, with the exception of the Daily Mantra, I am giving Facebook, so I can get more done. More writing, more balance between that whole New Year’s Resolution thing of mind, body and spirit.

And, I’m giving up cuss words. DAMMIT! Because, once again, it is an extreme difficult thing for me to let go of the cusswords. Jose will probably find me tonight at 10 minutes to midnight sitting in a corner, chocolate in one hand and computer in the other dropping the F-Bomb as many times as I can till the clock strikes midnight! Grrrrrrr.  It’s THAT hard for me.

My sweet friend, Caffeine, usually gives up coffee as her Lenten sacrifice. But that is her, not me. Not in this lifetime. Not ever. But hey! Go Caffeine!

If I’ve got to give up cusswords and chocolate, then I’m damn well keeping my coffee.

I also will NOT be giving up wine.

I’d like to know your thoughts on this: Forty Day Trailer Park Fix with Nadine.

For the next Forty days, Nadine will attempt to help you and herself find the balance between mind/body/spirit. Since she is the Self-Appointed Life Coach to Many and to several famous stars, who, for now, will remain nameless, she has a plethora of experience. And she is willing to share, during this Lenten season, with all of you.

She will address everything beginning with Your Mind? What are you doing with your mind? What are you putting into your mind? What do you spend time dwelling on? How ARE your relationships? How’s your job? How’s your Momma and them?

Your Body? What kind of nutrition do you have? How does good/bad nutrition affect you? What are your exercise habits? How do you kick those bad habits while incorporating the good?

Your Spirit? Where are you spiritually? What kind of journey are you on?  How do you share it with others? Do you share it with others? Or keep it to yourself?

I really look forward to people sharing on the blog.  Sharing ideas, struggles, journeys and how it all integrates and relates to make you feel whole.

Sacrificially yours,

Nadine Bodine

Your very BEST friend in the whole entire world!